Sorry to hear of your losses, especially your parents. Time is your ally. You may need to make time for yourself..
Not knowing where the favourite roads are sounds like a blessing to me.
My advice...point your bike in a direction and GO. Don't be in a hurry to get anywhere. You see a side road and a little voice says "Wonder where that goes?"...take it. Pack a bag and go for a while, maybe even a couple of days